Hello

I spend a lot of time in this office watching people sit on my favorite couch, talk to my human, and on occasion leak water from their eyes. It seems exhausting. To be perfectly honest, I don't know how to help you with your complicated human emotions—mostly because my own greatest existential crisis is trying to figure out why you even have hands if they aren't petting me—because petting a dog seems to make things better.

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My primary therapeutic modalities include:

• Leaning my entire body weight against your shins.

• Greeting you at the door with mild to moderate excitement

• Staring intently at something inanimate during your major psychological breakthroughs.

• Offering immediate, zero-judgment support (unless you have a snack and are not sharing it with me.)

• Send you home with little white reminders of our time together

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I look forward to meeting you and smelling your shoes.